The latest rage among women trying to make themselves beautiful is asshole whitening. You heard me right, asshole whitening. Using chemicals beauticians are now whitening the assholes of a whole bunch of insecure women. Humorous or sick, I'm not sure what to categorize this as.
HEARD of sphincter bleaching? Beauticians are billing it as the new Brazilian wax.
"In the last couple of months I've had a lot of requests, so I've started some experiments," says Sydney beautician Anna Marsiano from The Bees' Knees salon.
"I've got one client who's a divorced woman with a couple of kids. She was looking at a Playboy magazine with her new boyfriend and he was making some comments about how clean and light the women looked. My client started to get a little paranoid."
Marsiano says she uses a herbal brand popular in the Philippines as a facial whitener. It is applied to the dark pigmentation around women's rectums as well as to their vaginal areas. Marsiano says the product does not damage the skin and has "rejuvenating" properties.
But another Sydney beautician, asked about her anal lightening equipment, produces a completely different product altogether. It's a cream that clearly states it is designed to be used on hair. This beautician has treated sex workers and strippers for years, but says mainstream demand has risen sharply over the past six months. She acknowledges that her long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems. "I explain that it will give them eczema and so on, but they want it anyway," she says.
The good news on sphincter bleaching is that it's safer than anything involving general anaesthetics or fat-vacuuming gizmos. The bad news is that you could be in for a lifetime of skid marks. The chairwoman of the Australian Medical Association's ethics committee, Rosanna Capolingua, says the use of harsh bleaching substances could cause anal burning and scarring. This, in turn, could lead to anal incontinence or an inability to pass stools at all.
Sound attractive? If the figures in the cost and reward equation don't add up, perhaps it's worth giving the bleach a miss and locating a lover who doesn't expect your bum to look like Barbie's.
Your pooper will be white, but shit will just fall right out of it or get so stuck up inside that it can't come out. Now that's what I call attractive!
Tipped by: Right Thinking From The Left Coast
My partner Cameron really enjoyed my new anus hole. IT has done wonders for our relationship..he's not affraid of being around that area anymore. I have only experienced positive results, no anal itching, scarring, or bleeding. I recommend this procedure to all same sex marriages and insecure women (or men). I love my new and improved white fruit star! :)
Posted by: Justin Schwartzbauer on June 17, 2009 04:30 AM
It sounds just great for showgirls and strippers when they are working their stuff on stage, because we know how fake they are anyway so why not go all the way... Also great for fags and queers because they love those ass-holes and guys usually don't have that area as clean as women, but screw the fags anyway!! This thing is just another idiots idea to make some easy money and it caught on, now every Tom, Dick, and Queer wants this done to them, whatever it's time we start pulling ourself together... Whatever!!
Posted by: Jashuh on May 17, 2010 05:47 PM